Absences. 

After being no beginner with the whole “long distance” thing, my boyfriend and I were recently apart for two more weeks when he took a trip overseas to Scotland. What I wasn’t expecting was the time difference to mess up so bad (7 hours… who would have guessed we would both be up at all hours of the night sometimes just to talk to each other even though there was perfectly legitimate overlapping day times). What I also wasn’t expecting, was the strengthening and solidifying of our connection even further. 

After a few months of being away at school, it became a routine and it was no longer surprising when there a distance was noticeable between us. Plus with one person having to be so focussed all day on learning, it can be mentally draining to keep up emotionally with a relationship as well when there’s no time to spend with each other except on the phone. So it’s not great being apart, but I didn’t seem to notice how beneficial it can be as well. Not only have we continued to grow as individuals, we keep growing as a couple. 

I would have never guessed that growth as individuals is so important to being happy in a relationship. Now I can reflect more easily on my relationship and more easily admit to myself when I’m unhappy with myself or if I’m facing a deeper problem in my relationship. It’s so easy to blame the people surrounding us for problems and unhappy feelings, but sometimes negative emotions and unhappiness is lying within. It can be for any reason, but it isn’t always necessarily the people surrounding. I’ve really realized that G is my supporting force in this world and when I’m thinking of improving myself, I find myself thinking of him because he’s truly become my better half. 

All these big changes and shifts in my thinking happened while G was in Scotland and I keep finding myself falling deeper in love with him, our relationship, and myself as a person separate from us. I can only appreciate time apart, and while it may not always be easy it is so worth it. 

Advertisements

Tough love. 

Wow it has been a crazy month since my last post (like I always say haha), but I am here for yet another post about my G. Still together, but we’ve had probably the toughest week yet. Initially I got a little bit mad (I can admit I over-reacted but I felt justified in the moment) that he booked a huge trip without me, and I’m not going so I felt even more out of the loop, and then he decided to quit his job at a place we both work at. He decided against it at the last minute and I’m glad, but a seriously stressful day! In the end I just wanted to be a part of those bigger decisions, and I just wanted to feel like a valued member of the team. 

Then we had another personal problem in the same week and even though we weren’t mad at each other, it felt like it was hard to get along sometimes because we were both so on edge! As I’ve just mentioned, we work together (part time at the same retail store in our city), and honestly when we have shifts together usually I’m all over it! It’s fun being able to come up to front end and see him there or be able to ask him for help. It’s also nice to know I have someone to lean on for that day if I ever need back up or need to vent about a rude customer (I hope you’re all nice to retail employees that are nice to you!!!). 

Then I tried to have a real life conversation about the future and it was honestly brutal, like maybe if I forget about it the future will work itself out (I can dream), but in the end I just want what’s best for us, and especially for G.

Obviously there have been some tough moments and I so hope this isn’t a reflection of the weeks to come because truthfully I’ve gotta get my act together and start reviewing school material to stay on my A game for my last year. But anyways, now that everything’s said and done and literally I cannot think of anything else we could struggle through, I MISS HIM! Usually I’m the type of gal that needs her space from a guy after a long week like this, but all I want to do right now is be together. I want to reaffirm everything we’ve gone through and really reassure that I’m here to stay. We’re not together because I work in the morning and I don’t live with him, but honestly I think I can say if we do get to the point of living together, I’m going to be one of those girlfriends that fights and then wants to watch a movie together or something. Am I giving up? No, but I am choosing what’s worth fighting over. 

Also we saw Baby Driver this week amongst this messy time, and it was absolutely fantastic! Huge recommend! 

Sundays. 

I come back to Airdrie after a weekend at home with you, and god I miss you. I miss you as soon as I leave, and I don’t stop until I get to be in your arms again. I regret every moment I’ve wasted with you being mad or upset with you. I regret every second I’ve wasted being fed up with someone else, but not fed up enough to leave. I regret every moment that I’ve wasted, by not having you in my heart. 

It’s funny because I’m preparing for Valentine’s Day and while your Christmas gift was a throwback to our year together, your Valentine’s Day gift will be a throwback to before, when we were friends. It’s about the lore, the beginning, the how it happened.

All I have to say babe, is that I feel like it’s always been you. You’ve found a way to shake me, stir me and completely change my life. Even though for half of our friendship I was in a relationship with someone else, I was always unhappy (without knowing it), because I wasn’t with you. You are my soulmate, my best friend, my lover, my world. 

Anni, anni, anni. 

If G reads this, I am absolutely full of love and 365 days is a really amazing achievement for us.

Today is my one year anniversary with the person the blog is about! We have become so much closer, continued to evolve as individuals, and still have had the time of our lives this entire year. I’ve been lucky enough to be home for my winter break from school, so we’ve been getting to spend a lot of time together! As I’ve mentioned before, our relationship is really healthy and stable and that’s something that I really love about us. We’ve never had any serious arguments and our conversations that could veer off into an argument never seem to! If it isn’t clear, our relationship is somewhat of a modern day fairy tale. 

I won’t lie, I’m expecting arguments and fights, I just don’t know when. I’m expecting rough patches where it seems like it’s harder than other times, I just don’t know when. I guess the thing is, nobody knows when these things will happen, just that they do happen. My guy, he’s really worth fighting for. I understand that realistically, there is no perfect relationship. I also understand that when we’re together, it feels like the perfect relationship. And that’s probably what the right relationship is supposed to feel like. 

There will be frustration, disappointment, and maybe even anger, but there will also be happiness, love, laughter, and so many more positive feelings. I no longer fear our future, I no longer fear arguments. I feel excited, because we’ve been extremely solid for 365 days. I can’t wait for what’s coming up for us, and I am so, so happy and proud to say that I have the best boyfriend. And I’m so happy that it’s you, G.