Absences. 

After being no beginner with the whole “long distance” thing, my boyfriend and I were recently apart for two more weeks when he took a trip overseas to Scotland. What I wasn’t expecting was the time difference to mess up so bad (7 hours… who would have guessed we would both be up at all hours of the night sometimes just to talk to each other even though there was perfectly legitimate overlapping day times). What I also wasn’t expecting, was the strengthening and solidifying of our connection even further. 

After a few months of being away at school, it became a routine and it was no longer surprising when there a distance was noticeable between us. Plus with one person having to be so focussed all day on learning, it can be mentally draining to keep up emotionally with a relationship as well when there’s no time to spend with each other except on the phone. So it’s not great being apart, but I didn’t seem to notice how beneficial it can be as well. Not only have we continued to grow as individuals, we keep growing as a couple. 

I would have never guessed that growth as individuals is so important to being happy in a relationship. Now I can reflect more easily on my relationship and more easily admit to myself when I’m unhappy with myself or if I’m facing a deeper problem in my relationship. It’s so easy to blame the people surrounding us for problems and unhappy feelings, but sometimes negative emotions and unhappiness is lying within. It can be for any reason, but it isn’t always necessarily the people surrounding. I’ve really realized that G is my supporting force in this world and when I’m thinking of improving myself, I find myself thinking of him because he’s truly become my better half. 

All these big changes and shifts in my thinking happened while G was in Scotland and I keep finding myself falling deeper in love with him, our relationship, and myself as a person separate from us. I can only appreciate time apart, and while it may not always be easy it is so worth it. 

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Tough love. 

Wow it has been a crazy month since my last post (like I always say haha), but I am here for yet another post about my G. Still together, but we’ve had probably the toughest week yet. Initially I got a little bit mad (I can admit I over-reacted but I felt justified in the moment) that he booked a huge trip without me, and I’m not going so I felt even more out of the loop, and then he decided to quit his job at a place we both work at. He decided against it at the last minute and I’m glad, but a seriously stressful day! In the end I just wanted to be a part of those bigger decisions, and I just wanted to feel like a valued member of the team. 

Then we had another personal problem in the same week and even though we weren’t mad at each other, it felt like it was hard to get along sometimes because we were both so on edge! As I’ve just mentioned, we work together (part time at the same retail store in our city), and honestly when we have shifts together usually I’m all over it! It’s fun being able to come up to front end and see him there or be able to ask him for help. It’s also nice to know I have someone to lean on for that day if I ever need back up or need to vent about a rude customer (I hope you’re all nice to retail employees that are nice to you!!!). 

Then I tried to have a real life conversation about the future and it was honestly brutal, like maybe if I forget about it the future will work itself out (I can dream), but in the end I just want what’s best for us, and especially for G.

Obviously there have been some tough moments and I so hope this isn’t a reflection of the weeks to come because truthfully I’ve gotta get my act together and start reviewing school material to stay on my A game for my last year. But anyways, now that everything’s said and done and literally I cannot think of anything else we could struggle through, I MISS HIM! Usually I’m the type of gal that needs her space from a guy after a long week like this, but all I want to do right now is be together. I want to reaffirm everything we’ve gone through and really reassure that I’m here to stay. We’re not together because I work in the morning and I don’t live with him, but honestly I think I can say if we do get to the point of living together, I’m going to be one of those girlfriends that fights and then wants to watch a movie together or something. Am I giving up? No, but I am choosing what’s worth fighting over. 

Also we saw Baby Driver this week amongst this messy time, and it was absolutely fantastic! Huge recommend! 

Differences.

I don’t know about you, but I started dating my partner and I thought we had everything in common and maybe he was just the boy version of me. I thought we shared all the same values and morals, thought the same way and had the exact same plan. As it turns out, we don’t! 

So we’re different. Our differences exist between us, but they don’t affect our connection. After being together for a year and a quarter, I’ve actually learned so much about G that I wouldn’t change for the world. Being his friend for a long time before we started dating I thought I would have learned it all because that’s a really no pressure way to get to know someone. As it turns out, there was so much more to him I didn’t know. But, like I said, I wouldn’t change him for the world. 

So you meet someone, you start dating someone, and then you find out you two are very different from one another. Don’t let that stop you. Yes, opposites attract, but it’s also okay to look for a partner that does have the same ideals and values as you. G shares a lot of similar values and morals that I have, but I think sometimes we’re on different pages about what comes first and what comes next. And, that’s okay! It’s nothing to be afraid of.

It’s important to challenge yourself to listen to your partner’s opinions and ideals, and respect the shit out of them. Don’t try to change that person, embrace every single part of them. If you find that you’re too different I encourage you to consider moving on, but if you can find it in yourself to love every part of that person no matter how different they may be from yourself, it could be the greatest love you’ve ever had.

Challenge yourself to love unconditionally, and to accept that love in return. 

Awareness. 

Close to the end of the semester and I’m really struggling with being stressed to the max, lonely, and just overall overwhelmed. Final papers due, those last few projects, I got a job recently because I ran out of money, and we’re moving to a new place next week! Obviously there’s a lot on my plate. I have been focussing so much on putting the extra energy I do have into my relationship, and I’ve forgotten to have a life outside of “us”. 

I love my relationship and the person that I’m with, but I’ve seen the light. I’m putting too much into it. I don’t have hobbies, I don’t know what to do with myself on nights where I don’t have homework other than try to get G’s attention (seriously don’t give it to me right now), and I’ve been focussing too much on the fact that he’s not totally obsessed with me like I am with him. I need a breather and a reality check. I’m sure many people go through this and they wonder why their partner isn’t deeply into the relationship as well, and it’s because their partner has other priorities. 

I’m not saying being this way is a bad thing, but in my situation with my boyfriend, this really isn’t working for me. I need to be an individual still, I need to be able to be alone and to love my time without him as much as my time with him. Obviously I’m still a priority to my boyfriend and we have a ton of trust and loyalty to each other, so why am I constantly demanding his attention? For me, it’s because I’ve forgotten to be my own person. 

This is so important to anyone in a relationship at a young age. Don’t forget to be separate from your relationship, have interests outside of each other, and maintain your other friendships and your relationships with your family.