Him.

It’s almost been a year since we’ve been together and obviously, my life has been transformed. I no longer suffer from sleepless nights, unless I’m awake talking to you. My bad dreams are few and far between, and my smile is more frequent than ever. While sometimes our moments together feel fleeting, I find myself more grateful than ever to have you. 

There is nothing more clear from my past relationships, except pain. I spent a lot of time with the wrong people, just trying to make it work. I suffered to avoid the confrontation, and I did suffer. I can truly understand the meaning of the word abuse, in one more than way. It hurt to hold onto, and it hurt less to let go. My bitterness has dissolved as you’ve found ways to bring out the best in me, you’ve found ways to make me see a lifetime of happiness in one short year. 

365 days ago, we went on our first date. The moments are still clear, my feelings still the same, and my love is dominant as ever. I find a new way to appreciate you everyday, and I find a new way to love you more everyday as well. I no longer feel lost in your eyes, but I feel like I completely belong there and you are what’s completing me. 

I hope these feelings never fade as we develop our relationship, and continue to learn more about each other. I am no longer afraid to leap with you, and I am patiently waiting for our next big leap together. As long as you are you and I am me, we will always find ways to fall more deeply in love. 

I love you Gav ❤ 

Long(ish) distance. 

Let’s just say, this is a lot harder than I thought. Who knew I took comfort in knowing we park in the same parking lot for work and both get gas at the co-op and drove on the same highway everyday. I took comfort in the familiar, and that is all gone. Nothing about my routine now is familiar. On the plus side, I have learned how to ride the C train, and I know how to get to and from without using maps on my phone (wow, impressive). Nine days ago, I had no idea this was coming. 

What I have learned, is to cherish every moment, even if it doesn’t feel special. Every moment spent with you is special, because it’s another moment my heart feels completely full. Our time is precious, and though our love is built to last a lifetime, it’s never enough. There will never be enough time to explain how deeply and truly I love you. There will never be enough time to kiss each other’s lips off (who does that anyways), play infinite rounds of mini golf, or just watch every movie we’ve ever wanted to watch. Regardless, I am grateful that I’ve met someone I want to do those things with for the rest of my life. 

What I’m trying to say, is that I miss you. Every moment we spend together from now on until the end of time I will cherish  through the good and the bad moments. And this distance, has made my heart grow rapidly fonder of you. I never imagined being so far away from my other half. From my G. This is different, but I’m ready to love you through anything. 

Happiness, in particular. 

It’s that time of year, where I’m feeling blue because it’s several months most likely since I’ve done anything productive with myself other than work. Obviously I love school and the thought of going back to school is usually what gets me through August. This year though, things have been a lot different since I’ve decided to take a year off (which I’ve never done before). I’m excited to grow as a person and become more used to a routine without school on my mind, but there are certain things I’m worried about. What am I going to do, is work really going to be all that I’m doing, and most importantly, will I be happy without school? 

I don’t know if this is common, but I have always wondered about happiness and how to get there. The last two years I’ve really realized that happiness is a choice that needs to be made everyday, and if I don’t make that choice I’ll drown in negativity. If I’m being honest, some days it’s still really hard to make that choice, but you make it easier. 

Happiness is something that I find when I look at you. Don’t get me wrong, other things make me happy too, and I’m sure I find joy in other things as well. You are the reason why I make the choice and the reason why I try to better myself. You are the reason I smile and appreciate my life. You are my biggest blessing. I want to be happy to enjoy our time together, to enjoy us. While I may be looking at a difficult month ahead, you are the light at the end of the tunnel! Love you G. 

What I wouldn’t do. 

It’s funny because in a few short months, we’ll be going to Keith Urban and then Mexico for my sister’s wedding!! I have never imagined so much happiness in my life and I’m so blessed that I have my boyfriend G. I’ve realized now that my last relationship was truly dysfunctional and controlled. This isn’t about him though, it’s about you. What I want to tell you, is that nobody treats me the way you do. 

You don’t treat me like a helpless child, weak woman or stupid girl. You treat me like a capable adult with the respect every person deserves. While that doesn’t sound romantic, it is something that’s special to me. What’s so special is how I feel like your equal; like your partner. And how even though you say no sometimes when I ask if you’re coming over, you say yes to the more important things. I’m truly over the moon that you’re willing to go to a country show with me, that you’re willing to always watch whatever I want, that you’re willing to let me move away whenever I feel ready, that you’re willing to let me spread my wings and just be happy that I’m happy. True love is being happy just because your partner’s happy too. All this being said, I hope you remember that I will always do anything to make you happy too. Because it’s not all about me is it? 

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, and you’ll never have to know if there’s anything I wouldn’t do. Because G, for you, anything.