After being no beginner with the whole “long distance” thing, my boyfriend and I were recently apart for two more weeks when he took a trip overseas to Scotland. What I wasn’t expecting was the time difference to mess up so bad (7 hours… who would have guessed we would both be up at all hours of the night sometimes just to talk to each other even though there was perfectly legitimate overlapping day times). What I also wasn’t expecting, was the strengthening and solidifying of our connection even further.
After a few months of being away at school, it became a routine and it was no longer surprising when there a distance was noticeable between us. Plus with one person having to be so focussed all day on learning, it can be mentally draining to keep up emotionally with a relationship as well when there’s no time to spend with each other except on the phone. So it’s not great being apart, but I didn’t seem to notice how beneficial it can be as well. Not only have we continued to grow as individuals, we keep growing as a couple.
I would have never guessed that growth as individuals is so important to being happy in a relationship. Now I can reflect more easily on my relationship and more easily admit to myself when I’m unhappy with myself or if I’m facing a deeper problem in my relationship. It’s so easy to blame the people surrounding us for problems and unhappy feelings, but sometimes negative emotions and unhappiness is lying within. It can be for any reason, but it isn’t always necessarily the people surrounding. I’ve really realized that G is my supporting force in this world and when I’m thinking of improving myself, I find myself thinking of him because he’s truly become my better half.
All these big changes and shifts in my thinking happened while G was in Scotland and I keep finding myself falling deeper in love with him, our relationship, and myself as a person separate from us. I can only appreciate time apart, and while it may not always be easy it is so worth it.
I don’t know about you, but I started dating my partner and I thought we had everything in common and maybe he was just the boy version of me. I thought we shared all the same values and morals, thought the same way and had the exact same plan. As it turns out, we don’t!
So we’re different. Our differences exist between us, but they don’t affect our connection. After being together for a year and a quarter, I’ve actually learned so much about G that I wouldn’t change for the world. Being his friend for a long time before we started dating I thought I would have learned it all because that’s a really no pressure way to get to know someone. As it turns out, there was so much more to him I didn’t know. But, like I said, I wouldn’t change him for the world.
So you meet someone, you start dating someone, and then you find out you two are very different from one another. Don’t let that stop you. Yes, opposites attract, but it’s also okay to look for a partner that does have the same ideals and values as you. G shares a lot of similar values and morals that I have, but I think sometimes we’re on different pages about what comes first and what comes next. And, that’s okay! It’s nothing to be afraid of.
It’s important to challenge yourself to listen to your partner’s opinions and ideals, and respect the shit out of them. Don’t try to change that person, embrace every single part of them. If you find that you’re too different I encourage you to consider moving on, but if you can find it in yourself to love every part of that person no matter how different they may be from yourself, it could be the greatest love you’ve ever had.
Challenge yourself to love unconditionally, and to accept that love in return.
Let’s just say, this is a lot harder than I thought. Who knew I took comfort in knowing we park in the same parking lot for work and both get gas at the co-op and drove on the same highway everyday. I took comfort in the familiar, and that is all gone. Nothing about my routine now is familiar. On the plus side, I have learned how to ride the C train, and I know how to get to and from without using maps on my phone (wow, impressive). Nine days ago, I had no idea this was coming.
What I have learned, is to cherish every moment, even if it doesn’t feel special. Every moment spent with you is special, because it’s another moment my heart feels completely full. Our time is precious, and though our love is built to last a lifetime, it’s never enough. There will never be enough time to explain how deeply and truly I love you. There will never be enough time to kiss each other’s lips off (who does that anyways), play infinite rounds of mini golf, or just watch every movie we’ve ever wanted to watch. Regardless, I am grateful that I’ve met someone I want to do those things with for the rest of my life.
What I’m trying to say, is that I miss you. Every moment we spend together from now on until the end of time I will cherish through the good and the bad moments. And this distance, has made my heart grow rapidly fonder of you. I never imagined being so far away from my other half. From my G. This is different, but I’m ready to love you through anything.