I’ve been absent on account of exams and moving back home for the summer, but I’m back now and I hope this post relates to some of my readers.
I’ve been struggling with the ideas of “romance” recently, and the expectation that every relationship has to have an element of romance to be successful. My guy has flat out admitted to me that he’s not romantic. As a woman not wishing to be swept off her feet every minute of the day, I’m okay with that. I’m okay with being with someone who won’t buy me flowers on a semi regular basis, who doesn’t know the difference between a candlelit dinner and a dinner at the pub, who doesn’t constantly remind me that I should be sainted. I’m okay with being with someone who feels comfortable with me, spontaneously reminds me that he loves me, and when he wants a kiss he pulls me close to him and makes direct eye contact with me. I’m okay with just those things, because they are romantic to me.
Whoever defines romance in another person’s relationship is seriously in the wrong. When someone asks for another’s opinion I think it’s totally appropriate to offer that opinion, but to judge another’s relationship based on what that person sees from the outside perspective, is wrong. I’ve recently found myself in that position and I found myself suddenly insecure about my guy plus the things he’s not doing, and I’ve forgot about the things he does do that I love! Thinking of the moments where he makes my heart skip a beat has made me realize romance exists between us, but our even deeper connection is what has allowed to achieve a more intimate level of romance. Buying a girl flowers, jewellery or lingerie is extremely surface, and if you know me at all, I’m not a surface person. I’m not about materialistic gestures. If those gestures are your way of finding romance, that’s great for your relationship, I’m just simply acknowledging those gestures are not for my individual relationship.
Can everyone just stop judging other people’s relationships? It creates insecurities, and can lead to unnecessary arguments (thank god I haven’t argued with my boyfriend about this)! I think it’s important to acknowledge everyone’s individual preferences and desires, and if the person is happy, there’s no reason for anyone else to meddle.
I don’t know about you, but I started dating my partner and I thought we had everything in common and maybe he was just the boy version of me. I thought we shared all the same values and morals, thought the same way and had the exact same plan. As it turns out, we don’t!
So we’re different. Our differences exist between us, but they don’t affect our connection. After being together for a year and a quarter, I’ve actually learned so much about G that I wouldn’t change for the world. Being his friend for a long time before we started dating I thought I would have learned it all because that’s a really no pressure way to get to know someone. As it turns out, there was so much more to him I didn’t know. But, like I said, I wouldn’t change him for the world.
So you meet someone, you start dating someone, and then you find out you two are very different from one another. Don’t let that stop you. Yes, opposites attract, but it’s also okay to look for a partner that does have the same ideals and values as you. G shares a lot of similar values and morals that I have, but I think sometimes we’re on different pages about what comes first and what comes next. And, that’s okay! It’s nothing to be afraid of.
It’s important to challenge yourself to listen to your partner’s opinions and ideals, and respect the shit out of them. Don’t try to change that person, embrace every single part of them. If you find that you’re too different I encourage you to consider moving on, but if you can find it in yourself to love every part of that person no matter how different they may be from yourself, it could be the greatest love you’ve ever had.
Challenge yourself to love unconditionally, and to accept that love in return.
Close to the end of the semester and I’m really struggling with being stressed to the max, lonely, and just overall overwhelmed. Final papers due, those last few projects, I got a job recently because I ran out of money, and we’re moving to a new place next week! Obviously there’s a lot on my plate. I have been focussing so much on putting the extra energy I do have into my relationship, and I’ve forgotten to have a life outside of “us”.
I love my relationship and the person that I’m with, but I’ve seen the light. I’m putting too much into it. I don’t have hobbies, I don’t know what to do with myself on nights where I don’t have homework other than try to get G’s attention (seriously don’t give it to me right now), and I’ve been focussing too much on the fact that he’s not totally obsessed with me like I am with him. I need a breather and a reality check. I’m sure many people go through this and they wonder why their partner isn’t deeply into the relationship as well, and it’s because their partner has other priorities.
I’m not saying being this way is a bad thing, but in my situation with my boyfriend, this really isn’t working for me. I need to be an individual still, I need to be able to be alone and to love my time without him as much as my time with him. Obviously I’m still a priority to my boyfriend and we have a ton of trust and loyalty to each other, so why am I constantly demanding his attention? For me, it’s because I’ve forgotten to be my own person.
This is so important to anyone in a relationship at a young age. Don’t forget to be separate from your relationship, have interests outside of each other, and maintain your other friendships and your relationships with your family.
Let’s just say, this is a lot harder than I thought. Who knew I took comfort in knowing we park in the same parking lot for work and both get gas at the co-op and drove on the same highway everyday. I took comfort in the familiar, and that is all gone. Nothing about my routine now is familiar. On the plus side, I have learned how to ride the C train, and I know how to get to and from without using maps on my phone (wow, impressive). Nine days ago, I had no idea this was coming.
What I have learned, is to cherish every moment, even if it doesn’t feel special. Every moment spent with you is special, because it’s another moment my heart feels completely full. Our time is precious, and though our love is built to last a lifetime, it’s never enough. There will never be enough time to explain how deeply and truly I love you. There will never be enough time to kiss each other’s lips off (who does that anyways), play infinite rounds of mini golf, or just watch every movie we’ve ever wanted to watch. Regardless, I am grateful that I’ve met someone I want to do those things with for the rest of my life.
What I’m trying to say, is that I miss you. Every moment we spend together from now on until the end of time I will cherish through the good and the bad moments. And this distance, has made my heart grow rapidly fonder of you. I never imagined being so far away from my other half. From my G. This is different, but I’m ready to love you through anything.
It’s that time of year, where I’m feeling blue because it’s several months most likely since I’ve done anything productive with myself other than work. Obviously I love school and the thought of going back to school is usually what gets me through August. This year though, things have been a lot different since I’ve decided to take a year off (which I’ve never done before). I’m excited to grow as a person and become more used to a routine without school on my mind, but there are certain things I’m worried about. What am I going to do, is work really going to be all that I’m doing, and most importantly, will I be happy without school?
I don’t know if this is common, but I have always wondered about happiness and how to get there. The last two years I’ve really realized that happiness is a choice that needs to be made everyday, and if I don’t make that choice I’ll drown in negativity. If I’m being honest, some days it’s still really hard to make that choice, but you make it easier.
Happiness is something that I find when I look at you. Don’t get me wrong, other things make me happy too, and I’m sure I find joy in other things as well. You are the reason why I make the choice and the reason why I try to better myself. You are the reason I smile and appreciate my life. You are my biggest blessing. I want to be happy to enjoy our time together, to enjoy us. While I may be looking at a difficult month ahead, you are the light at the end of the tunnel! Love you G.
It’s funny because in a few short months, we’ll be going to Keith Urban and then Mexico for my sister’s wedding!! I have never imagined so much happiness in my life and I’m so blessed that I have my boyfriend G. I’ve realized now that my last relationship was truly dysfunctional and controlled. This isn’t about him though, it’s about you. What I want to tell you, is that nobody treats me the way you do.
You don’t treat me like a helpless child, weak woman or stupid girl. You treat me like a capable adult with the respect every person deserves. While that doesn’t sound romantic, it is something that’s special to me. What’s so special is how I feel like your equal; like your partner. And how even though you say no sometimes when I ask if you’re coming over, you say yes to the more important things. I’m truly over the moon that you’re willing to go to a country show with me, that you’re willing to always watch whatever I want, that you’re willing to let me move away whenever I feel ready, that you’re willing to let me spread my wings and just be happy that I’m happy. True love is being happy just because your partner’s happy too. All this being said, I hope you remember that I will always do anything to make you happy too. Because it’s not all about me is it?
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, and you’ll never have to know if there’s anything I wouldn’t do. Because G, for you, anything.
It’s been awhile since my last post, sorry! It feels like I just wrote it a few days ago, but here’s my next one!
One of the things I love about us, is how simple we are. When someone says, “how did you meet your boyfriend?”, I can easily tell them and look back on the blissful memories of our friendship that turned into the great love we have now. I no longer have to avoid parts of the past, because our past is beautiful. There is no question of whether we love each other, because the answer simply is yes. Something else I love about you and me, is how something small turned into the biggest part of my heart.
The start of a friendship is always promising, but it starts out as a small part of you. Our friendship started slowly, until there were late nights playing infected and snapchatting. What started slowly began to take a larger part of me as the days went on.
The start of a relationship is even more promising than a friendship, and also more exciting. I stumbled across the words “I love you” and I thought that was the beginning of something much more complicated. Those words I used to associate with pain, suffering and heartbreak are now associated with the simple emotion of happiness. You have surprised me by never disappointing me, never letting me down, and being there for me always. What I expected to be difficult, is the simplest part of my life.
As you read, I hope you don’t confuse my words, our love is not simple. My love for you is the most complex feeling I’ve ever had because it’s indescribable. It is the most powerful feeling I’ve ever known and the thought of you gets me through the days. While the words “I love you” may seem so small, hearing you say that has become the best part of my day. Love you G.